travel

12 Reasons Why You’ll Hate a Vacation in Maldives

Last Updated: March 13, 2016

Written by Seth Lui

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Maldives, the mystical honeymoon destination every newly wed dreams of vacationing at. Well, it’s not that hard a reality actually with low-cost carrier Tigerair flying to Maldives from Singapore in the range of $300+ SGD for a return ticket. But just in case you have the following very specific dislikes listed, don’t visit the Maldives.

Maldives is made up of 26 atoll islands, with one resort brand occupying an entire island. Airbnb options are also available rather than staying at some $800 a night resort. Upon arrival at the airport, you’ll have to take a ferry to the island of your accommodation choice. The even more further out islands will even require a seaplane to head there.

Just stepping out of the Male airport and you’ll start seeing why Maldives is such an amazing holiday spot most people want to visit once in their lifetime, or, it could be a total nightmare for others. Here’s some reasons why you might hate visiting Maldives.

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1. You Hate The Color Blue

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If you have an adverse reaction to the color blue, I’m sorry about everywhere you look is blue here. I’ve seriously never seen such sapphire blue waters before. It’s as if God spilled a bucket of blue paint into the sea and its everywhere.

These are definitely waters one won’t mind swimming in. But don’t try drinking it even though it looks so pure; you’ll find the waters hella salty even by Ocean standards. And with the water being crystal clear, this leads to my next point.

2. You Hate The Sun and Getting Tanned At The Beach

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Sun, sun everywhere.

White, sun-kissed beaches with the finest sands the Maldive Islands can offer. And the best part is that the beaches in Maldives are not overcrowded like many other beach holiday destinations- you will have plenty of personal space to get a tan without someone kicking sand in your face every few minutes. If you hate the sun, stop right now.

3. You Have a Fear of Fishes

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Fear of fishes or ichthyophobia sufferers definitely need to avoid the Maldives. You can actually see the fishes just from the surface of the sea and even in the water as well once you jump in (provided you wear googles, or have superman vision). You’ll be swimming upclose with the fishes like Aquaman and being one with marine life, but avoid at all cost if you fear these scaly creatures.

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Yes, those are baby sharks that my resort feeds at 6pm sharp. They swim so close you could almost touch them, along with that lingering paranoia of getting your fingers chomped off. More reason to avoid fishes.

4. You Think Snorkeling is For Losers

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The clear waters are literally just steps away from your room. If you get the overwater bungalows (which are as the name suggests, houses build directly above the water), your backyard itself is the blue sea already.

Most resorts will let you rent a couple sets of snorkeling equipment for free, so jump in anytime and have a blast watching the marine life. But if you fear drowning or simply think snorkeling is for losers, I’m afraid that’s all there is to do all day.

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If you choose to, you can also rent a boat out to the deeper waters to snorkel and see the magnificent coral reefs and even more vibrant ocean life.

5. You Think Coral Reefs are Ugly

You will be sorely disappointed if you chose to take the boat out for a snorkeling trip as there’s nothing but coral reefs just spread out all over. In the open waters, you’ll see amazingly vast coral reefs populated by an immense amount of fishes and other sea creatures. It’s a sight to behold and an experience most people will want to see on a trip to the Maldives, but probably not you.

6. New Watersports Are a Drag To Learn

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Being surrounded pretty much by water, its no surprise all sorts of watersports are available in the Maldives. You can paddleboard, jet-ski, go sailing, windsurf, kayak and the list runs on. The only watersport not available in the Maldives seems to be surfing, as the waters are a little too still with a lack of large waves. By the way, the sun in Maldives is mad glaring which makes my eyes go like this -_-

The calm waters actually makes a pretty good environment to take a lesson for windsurfing or sailing. Lessons are available at the resort as well so you can pick up a new watersport at your convenience, but if learning a new watersport seems to be too dreary, skip Maldives.

7. You Hate Getting Sand in Your Feet While Beachside Dining

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Dining by the breezy beach on the sand is always an experience most enjoy, but if you hate kicking sand while eating, man you’re not going to enjoy beachside dining in Maldives at all.

Hear the calming sound of gentle waves while munching on fish and chips that was probably fished from the same ocean you’re staring at. Nature itself makes the dining ambiance a stunning one, although you might have to watch out for mosquitoes at night – another reason why you might hate it here.

8. You Prefer Waking Up To A View of Concrete Buildings

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Just imagine waking up each morning greeted by the glaring sun and vast blue ocean, while waves gently crash along. In Maldives, this slice of paradise is a waking reality that seems all too surreal. If however, you prefer waking up to the sound of construction and tall skyscrapers, stay home.

9. You Hate Taking Great Pictures For Instagram

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You can take a photograph anywhere in the Maldives and it will turn out looking like some picture perfect postcard. The bright sun, the crystal clear waters and the rustic looking homes all make images that will be the envy of all your colleagues not holidaying here.

Beware sometimes the sun’s glare might be a bit much and tends to turn out pictures a bit too white washed. Its a nice effect nonetheless, but you can easily fix that by just increasing the saturation in your photos in the Instagram app or any photo editing app.

If you hate snapping photos and just generally want an ugly looking instagram account, well Maldives ain’t for you.

10. Too Much Quiet Time On An Isolated Island

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Being trapped on an isolated island with no traffic, no shopping malls, no hordes of people and no high-rise skyscrapers really lets you take a step back to just enjoy life for what it is. If you’re the sort that dislikes having personal space and just prefer being around hordes of people, skip a vacation in Maldives.

Disconnect from the fast-paced rat race and spend some time pampering yourself while reflecting on life decisions. Maldives is perfect for yoga, meditation or even a much needed spa.

11. You’re Single and Hate Bedspace

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I’d say Maldives is perfect for couples for a romantic getaway, but really not that great for single dudes like myself. There’s just so much bed space and interesting sights I’m not sure what to do with it alone.

Couples can leave their kids behind and go on a second honeymoon to the Maldives where you can experience romantic dinners by the beach, plush king sized beds, walks by the sandy beach and a revival of that amorous spark every couple deserves.

12. Curries Give You The Runs

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If eating curry gives you the runs, you’re not going to like it here. Maldivian curry is amazingly well-balanced and not overpowering, creating arguably one of the best curries in the world. I tried a couple of curries here and I have to say the Maldivian Tuna Curry actually has a very familiar hearty taste to Indian curry in Singapore, with a strong spice mix of Tumeric, Cumin, Cardamom and of course, Curry leaves.

Well, native Maldivians do share a lot of similarities with their Indian neighbors (who did invented curry) and have also mingled influence in cuisine, thus learning the secrets of magnificent curry.

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Do note that Maldives is a Muslim country and bringing in alcohol from the airport is strictly prohibited . If you did BUY any alcohol like I did, you’ll have to hand over the whisky to airport authorities who keep it in storage till you fly off. Strangely, you can buy and consume alcohol at the resort itself though.

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