I’m not too sure if I’m only speaking for myself but eating out has been playing a larger role in my life lately. I haven’t had an idea since when did meeting up with friends almost always entails a meal. Does it come with age? Like we’ve just stopped doing other things and much prefer to be in a comfortable situation where we can have a decent conversation, catching up on all the lost time.
But I guess updating each other with the companion of food is literally the best idea yet and that naturally increases the amount of times I visit a restaurant, since I’m not a big fan of cleaning up dishes.
You’ll be damned to know just how inflexible and ridiculous some restaurants can get and that really grinds my gears. So here’s a list of restaurant pet peeves that I absolutely cannot wrap my head around, or my anger, or frustration, or whatever.
1. No switching of sides, even if its pretty much the same thing.
Dude, I don’t know where you come from but I’m pretty sure mashed potatoes and fries are both made from potatoes and just how hard is it to switch one from another if they are both on your menu?
I’m not asking you to give me layers of bacon, I’m literally just asking you to change the form of potatoes I want it served in. If that can’t be done, I’ve got tissues for your issues, just ask.
2. Charging for water.
Oh are we living in the Himalayan Mountains where spring water is bountiful and precious so you can’t serve me tap water? It’s tap water dang it, and it costs close to nothing in Singapore.
Do not give me the bullocks that you do not serve tap water. It’s not like I’m going to be a fire hydrant and drink up a million litres. Well then again, I can’t say for sure when you’ve ignited such an anger in me.
3. Unable to add extras to a dish.
Inflexibility at its best is when you can’t add on stuff to your dishes. Like add on that extra bacon, yes I know I’ve been repeating bacon but who doesn’t love bacon. Yes, I’ll pay that extra $2 so what’s the hangup?
4. Dirty utensils.
I don’t know how you expect me to use soiled utensils. No, we’re not practising any of the ‘One man’s trash is another man’s treasure’ here.
5. Waiters unknowingly dipping their fingers into a dish
This is my face when I see a little finger in my soup bowl when it’s served. Okay I get it, you’re rushing to serve out orders but please try not to dip the ends of your finger into my dish, I’m not a chronic finger licking good kinda person.
6. Not having paper napkins in the restaurant.
Though my life goal is to be a cat, does that mean I have to lick myself clean like a cat? Even fastfood serves paper napkins, I don’t see why a restaurant shouldn’t.
7. Charging for hot water instead.
Are you kidding me, why is tap water free but hot water costs extra? What if I have a baby that needs to be fed, or if I have my monthly issues and can only have warm water. Are you going to starve my child or are you going to bear my cramps for me? Because if you can do that, fine by all means, charge it.
8. Charging for random things on the table when you didn’t even ask for it.
Go on, force me to eat a plate of peanuts or vegetables that I didn’t even ask for and leave me with no choice but to pay for it because that’s the way to go. $1 for the wet towel? Very classy.
9. Waiters who don’t know what’s in their dish. And are rude about it.
Some of us have legume allergies, or just don’t like onions. It would be great if the waiter knows what goes into the very thing that they’re selling, yea?
If you’re not sure, just check with the kitchen – don’t tell me the beef burger only contains beef. I’d like to know what other secrets they packed into the patty and the sauce.
10. When you’ve waited really long for your dish and they don’t let you cancel your order.
I ordered that plate of truffle fries like a thousand years ago and a thousand years later, I’ve finished my other dishes and I’m full. Obviously they’ve forgotten. I’ve moved on, I don’t want my truffle fries anymore but yet you disallow me to cancel the order after all that torturous waiting game you’ve made me go through? Not cool man.
11. Obnoxiously loud music being played.
Am I in a club or am I in Abercrombie & Fitch? The last I remembered I was having a meal though. So why am I surrounded with such loud music that I have to get into a shouting contest with my dining partner for a conversation. We might as well go clubbing instead.
12. Excessive ice in drink.
You guys are really a funny lot. You refuse to serve me water but yet adorn my drink so wildly with excessive ice, diluting it over the course of the meal. That bit of drink you save isn’t going to make you a successful joint, a consistency in the quality churned out will.
13. Small portions.
I know portion size is relative and I understand that certain tasting menus call for that and surprise surprise, tasting menus actually get you really full while promising premium quality, because of variety and 44394673 number of courses they serve. But you do not serve me a minuscule amount of food when you’re a casual dining restaurant that is offering up a really normal plate of fish and chips. No.
14. Being seated really close to another guest’s table.
No, I’m not keen to hear about how bad your boyfriend is in bed, but if we’re seated that close I really can’t help it. I can’t breathe or eat in peace when I have to Mission Impossible my way out of my seat to the washroom or whip out that set of gymnast skills I never had.
15. Over charging for tea bags that I can get at Fairprice.
$7 for that Twinnings green tea, $4 for Lipton, wow thank you. Really. I mean, at least serve a Gryphon man.
So, I don’t know about you but these are my restaurant pet peeves that really baffle me, gee. What pet peeves do you have?