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I’ve had my fair share of curry laksa, and it’s very rare for a bowl of rich curry and coconut broth to disappoint me. That was until I paid a visit to Nyonya Melaka in Lalaport, a mall located in Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur.
Curry laksa is a delicacy without faults. When done right, the broth is deep in flavour, creamy, and oftentimes, a little spicy. Usually served with yellow egg noodles, the toppings vary from person to person. You can add the likes of fried tofu, cockles, fish balls, and more.
If a restaurant has a rating of less than 3 stars, it’s an instant no from me. Most eateries are able to keep themselves above the halfway mark, so when I saw Nyonya Melaka’s astounding 1.7 stars on Google, I was extremely intrigued. Out of 131 reviews (at time of writing), only a single user had given the store a rating higher than 1 star. Can you guess how many stars they gave? 2.
There’s absolutely no way a restaurant can be this bad, kan? Kan?
What I tried at Nyonya Melaka
As I was dining alone, I only ordered 1 dish and a drink. The Iced Cham (RM6.50) came first, presented in a relatively large mug. Cham gets its name from the Hokkien word “chham” meaning to mix— in this case, coffee and tea.
There’s not much to say about their cham, besides that it wasn’t kaw at all. The closest comparison I can think of is coffee flavoured milk, but even that’s generous. There’s no denying that you can get better cham at any neighbourhood kopitiam for half the price.
Next, of course, is the Nyonya Curry Laksa (RM19.90). If I’m the protagonist in my own story, then this bowl of noodles is the antagonist.
Visually, it was stunning. A humongous bowl filled to the brim, rich-coloured broth topped with fish balls, a lime, chopped fried tofu, slivers of omelette, shredded chicken, and cucumber, what’s not to be wowed by?
For a split second, I wondered if the reviews were wrong. A reviewer had mentioned that their curry laksa only came with fish balls, egg and cucumber, so I thought that maybe, just maybe, the restaurant had stepped up their game.
Let’s start off with the positives, which unfortunately, were limited to 4 things: the noodles were perfectly cooked, they didn’t have the dreaded kapur taste, the portion was pretty big, and the fish balls were adorable. Yeah, that’s about it.
From the ingredients alone, I was mildly disappointed at the absence of sambal and cockles.
Taste-wise, there wasn’t much to taste to begin with. This was completely different from other curry soups I’ve had before. Instead of being thick and rich, this broth was noticeably a lot more watery. The reviews proved to be correct once again, as the broth was rather bland. With curry laksa, I always expect the most potent, eye-widening flavours. If I don’t verbally say any variation of “woah”, it’s not kaw enough for me.
In the past, I’ve noticed that curry noodle dishes that stray away from the intense and spicy side tend to hone in on the creaminess. Nyonya Melaka, however, didn’t do this. Since it lacked a deep savouriness, I tried to focus on the taste of santan, which turned out to be another flavour that didn’t have a strong presence.
With all that being said, there was nothing more shocking than the fried tofu, also known as tauhu pok. Tauhu pok is usually one of the most exciting parts of curry noodles. The airy texture allows for absorption of the broth, so you get a burst of warm soup with every bite.
Remember when I said that this particular curry laksa was the antagonist? Well, the fried tofu was my mortal enemy. The series of events are as follows: I bit into a piece, I gagged, I spat it out. I really wish I was being hyperbolic, but I felt like the tauhu pok tasted the way Play-Doh smells. Maybe it was the continuous disappointment that did something to my brain, but I couldn’t, for the life of me, go in for another bite to confirm my suspicions.
Final thoughts
To summarise, what I ate at Nyonya Melaka was a watered down version of curry laksa. Nothing about the food warranted that kind of price tag, so I say skip this place. There are many other shops in the mall that’ll present you with a decent meal for the same price, and even more humble stalls across KL that’ll serve you authentic curry laksa.
Nothing about the dish invited me for more bites. I summoned all of my remaining willpower to eat as much as I could, which ended up not being a lot. In the end, I finished the cham, consumed about 15% of the noodles, paid, and went back home.
Expected damage: RM25 – RM40 per pax
